Wow, this community is deserted. Why did I leave all of sudden with no word

 

Hello there, is there still anyone  viewing this thing? Oh wait I’ve got some comments on a recent post of mine asking where I’ve been lately. Is he dead someone asks? No I’m not dead, lol, but I’ve been really distant from this place lately. I haven’t been posting the weekend countdown in 4 months(almost 5). shouldn’t I be doing that here every week? I should be, but I haven’t been. I guess this is the perfect time for an explanation. 

First off, what happened here though? Like no one’s posting anything except for Hippo? ZestPond quit recently, I miss him and his blog already. What happened to the mice little community that reviewed Hits 1 every week that started back in 2013? Even Waffle has been distant. 

Damn, I’ve missed a lot. I guess let’s get into why. 

First off please note that this is for a combination of both music reasons and personal reasons. 

Y’all know from previous posts that the first few months of 2023 did not treat me very well. My grandmother passed away, as well as my 16 year old cat(whom I considered my best friend) and then I got put in the friend-zone by a girl that I really liked. 

But it just got worse from there on out. 

2023 has not been a great year for me, in fact it’s been the worst year of my life, a complete nightmare, something I thought would never happen after my bad luck last September when I had a stroke and then had to have heart surgery 3 days before I turned 21. There’s been deep shit that’s gone on in 2023 and some of it is my fault(I will admit) but most of it is just bad luck.

So I guess I’ll get to more of the personal reasons first, since the music reasons are somewhat deep. There’s been great and not so great things that have happened to me the last few months, so I’ll sum everything up I guess. Let’s start with the bad. Two of my friends moved away back in June(one of them might’ve just announced he’s also getting married). My best friend of 9 years moved to Lake City Michigan to live with his girlfriend, the other one(the one who’s getting married) moved an hour away to Flagler Beach FL, they both moved around the same time, but with schedules and people just being bitchy it was hard to find time to hangout with both of them, but we did, but after my friend DJ moved to Michigan I did not take it that great to say the least. He moved at a time when all my other friends were on vacations and so I was really lonely and depressed when he first moved. I’m fine now, but I still miss him, although I’m happy for him. 

Also though, my school year did not start off too hot. I had mental breakdowns at the beginning of the Fall semester. I knew school was gonna be challenging this semester because I’m taking 3 classes, 1 of them happens to be a big requirement for my major that involves tons of research and it all leads up to a huge research paper at the end of the term, my other class though has also seemed to be hard, I get assigned 4-5 chapters per week out of the books I need for this class. There’s no way I have time to do all of it, but I somehow manage to pull through even though I’m really lazy and unmotivated to do the work in that class. 

I’ve had hella anxiety since I had the stroke last year, and it never stops either, I suffer from nocturnal panic attacks at night sometimes, when I have these my body feels all numb and like it’s gonna shut down(it literally feels like I’m dying). It’s unpleasant and weird, I’ve had them ever since my grandmother died, but they got progressively worse from April-July. Also I just sometimes have facial numbness that I can’t control. Sometimes it’s during a football game(like today) and sometimes it happens at night time. My breaking point with the anxiety was about 2 weeks ago when I had it for 12 hours after it started during a class. I had to consult with my doctor and yes it was confirmed that I do have anxiety. I think it’s mostly medical anxiety from the stroke, but everything bad that’s happened this year has also contributed to it. Another thing I suffer from sometimes is insomnia where I can’t shut my mind off at night and can’t sleep, although it’s been getting a bit better as of the last few weeks. I also have medical OCD where I get afraid that something medically is gonna happen to me(although nothing will) and just general OCD(it seems). My sleep issues have contributed to why I don’t really get up early on Saturday’s anymore to do the countdown with the Hits 1 Discord Server. I’m currently working with a therapist now, so that I can mentally recover from all of the shit that’s happened to me over the last year and it’s going great so far. 

But also there’s musical reason for why I’ve been gone to(and they go pretty deep) 2023’s music has barely been anything good mainstream wise. I don’t listen to a ton of mainstream stuff anymore because it’s all boring. The better songs this year have come from non-mainstream artists or forgotten artists, excluding a few mainstream ones. Let’s get into the big shit hole for 2023 music though. 

Du du du 

TAYLOR SWIFT! 😡

I warn you this is gonna be pretty deep. 

I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT’S MUSIC! I always have since 2017, but this year, geez she is so fucking overrated. Normally I wouldn’t care, but I do and here is why. Around the time where my anxiety was at its peak, I decided to make a little non-offensive joke about Taylor Swift and post it in the Discord server. Of course what happens? It gets screen shot and posted in another server, a server that DOES NOT AT ALL have a good reputation with the Hits 1 community. The Pulse Server 😡. In a matter of minutes I get my ass pinged and shitted on in this server for my music taste, and it fucking hurt! It hurt like hell! So I was also just unmotivated up until now to do anything with this blog because of that. I can’t believe I get cancelled twice in a toxic discord server for hating Taylor Swift and liking EDM, all while I’m experiencing the pain and anxiety that had been plaguing me since last September. 

So yeah I’ve just been unmotivated to post anything because of that and my mental health, but you know 2023 hasn’t been all that bad. 

In May I found out my parents are building a beach house down where my grandparents live part time for when they retire and it’s coming along nicely, it’s supposed to be done by the end of the year, so I’m really looking forward to it. In July my cousin had a baby(literally the same day my friend moved to Michigan to make it even more wild), and so I got to take a weekend trip up to see her and the baby in Wisconsin and it was nice to explore a new place I had never been to. In August a few friends and I planned a day trip to Jekyll Island Georgia(about an hour and a half to the North of where I live) and there’s a water park there, so we took a fun little day trip up there, and a few days later I flew to Idaho with my family to visit my grandparents(who live most of the time in Florida, but Idaho in the summer) and some uncles and cousins I hadn’t seen in years, so my summer was a bit jam packed and fun, even though there were some difficulties with my anxiety. I also participated in a university lead research project where I transcribed and published historical documents and on the side took a course about the music business(cuz why not) and I earned A grades in both. I might even get to present the work I did for the project at a showcase in November, and as of right now I’m just plugging along in school and watching football, my Jacksonville Jaguars are 1-1, my FSU Seminoles are 4-0 and ranked #3 in the most recent AP poll and now I’m also a fan of the 3-1 Wisconsin Badgers after visiting over the summer. 

So yeah, that’s the wild of Trey for the past 4 months. Now am I gonna return to blogging? 

Well I’ve already lost a lot of shit in 2023, I’ve really contemplated just outright quitting this blog, but after thinking and having some conversations there could be a possibility I might come back, but it won’t be until the end of 2023/start of 2024 because I am gonna be slammed with schoolwork and a bunch of other personal stuff coming up in October. 

I haven’t officially decided yet, but I’m probably gonna either just outright take a big break from school in 2024(not dropping out just a gap) or I’ll take a really easy class and just get a job on the side cuz I’ve never worked a day in my life(partially this wonderful blog is to blame for that). I love doing this and I’d hate to see it go, but as for the rest of 2023, I don’t see me posting here except maybe year end posts or quick chart check in’s(if I even have the time) I might post those in 2024 though cuz I’ve had interesting taste in music this year. 

But I also have another idea bouncing around. 

I’d like to get a little idea out to everyone though that I’m thinking will replace my music Instagram page(that I started way back in 2019 way before I started this blog). I recently heard of this new app called Amp, which is an App developed by Amazon Music. It’s a podcasting app where you can talk and play music and even interact with people who listen to your shows, and I was thinking maybe if I have the time to in 2024 once I get settled down with a job and figure out if I’m gonna even take a class or not, I was thinking maybe I’d do my own music show or new music show kinda like Hitbound. I think it’d be a unique opportunity and fun to do if I have the time. I don’t know what my schedule would be(probably random days) but yeah I’m thinking about it a bit. I don’t really need any fancy podcast mic or shit to do it, but my phone or computer, the app and a music playlist. I don’t know, it’s just an idea I’m bouncing around and to be clear no, it would not replace this blog, but it would likely replace that Instagram page that I still have up(and still use for some stupid reason). 

Anyways? If you read all of this thank you so much for baring with me over the last few months and I’m sorry, but I know that better days are to come(both for me and for the music world). Let me know your thoughts on my idea above(again it’s not final and I can’t guarantee that it’ll happen). But I just want some feedback on it. Until maybe I can get a year end post or a chart check in out. I love this community and all of its support for me and I’ll see you guys in the next one(hopefully when my plate is but less full)💜🫶✌️